You have a lot on your mind now. When you pick up this Guide, it’s okay if you feel like you can’t read it from cover to cover. We’ve written it to help you think about and handle different situations and circumstances. You can read it in any order and at any time. You may want to read one chapter at a time or just leaf or scroll through it. A great idea is to ask someone to read it to you, for you, or even with you.
We know that siblings of all ages can find themselves living through the experience of a missing brother or sister. We were all different ages when this happened to us. We wrote the Guide so that, regardless of your age, you can hear our stories, find suggestions that are meaningful and helpful to you, and navigate through this tough time.
Reading parts of the Guide aloud to your younger brothers and sisters can be good for them, and for you—helping them can give you good feelings as well. In the back of the printed version—and available as convenient individual downloads with the online version—you will find some activities you may like, along with others designed for younger siblings if you have them. Throughout [the PDF/downloadable version of this Guide], you’ll see pages for writing notes about how you’re feeling, things you don’t understand or want to find help with, or things you want to do.
However you decide to use it, this Guide is for you.
There’s one more important thing we want to share with you as you continue in this Guide—and in this journey: it’s going to be a roller coaster at times. Getting through this is not a linear process; it won’t happen in a straight-line, neat, predictable way. You may feel like you’re going along, handling things pretty well—and then something happens that sets you back. This journey will bring you progress and even some growth in ways you don’t expect. But be prepared for times where those positive or productive feelings fall away. Sometimes you’ll be able to see why, and other times you won’t. Just keep reminding yourself the journey has ups and downs, and always try to be kind to yourself.