A lot of what works for returning to school can “work” for returning to work. It’s about support, boundaries, and pacing yourself.
If you’re an older sibling, you eventually will have to return to work. You may find it’s hard to leave home for an extended amount of time because you feel like you need to be there to help. If the media has covered the story, it’s likely your co-workers will have heard about it and may ask uncomfortable questions.
Here are some things that can help:
- Give thought to what you do and don’t feel comfortable saying. Set conversational boundaries accordingly with both supervisors and coworkers.
- Go back to work gradually, maybe 3 days a week, then 4, and then 5. Talk to your supervisor. Ask if you can accomplish some of your work through telecommuting.
- You may want to isolate yourself while at work but try to connect with coworkers once in a while. Grab a coffee or meal with them and talk about things other than your sibling’s case and things at home.
- Try to surround yourself with people who are positive and can foster positive feelings and outlooks in you.
- Be patient with your ability to concentrate. You may find it difficult to concentrate on work at first. Recognize that it’s natural to be distracted and that you will become more focused in time.
- Take regular breaks to clear your mind. Go outside for a walk. Stand up and stretch. If you’re having trouble accomplishing your work, see if it’s okay to leave early that day.
- Your employer may have an Employee Assistance Program that can arrange free counseling for you. You may want to check into it.
- And when you just need a mental health day, talk to your supervisor. Kindly and confidently ask for what you need.
“When I went back to work substitute teaching, all the kids wanted my autograph because, in their eyes, I was a celebrity. They did not really understand. I used that opportunity to ask them each to write down one rule of safety, and then I signed that.” —Heather
“The job aspect was the most challenging. I would be offended if others wanted to give me special treatment.” —Cory
And remember self-care outside of work.
- Do what you can to care for yourself physically—eat well, get some daily exercise, and strive for 7-9 hours of sleep per night. If that is out of the question, just focus on a consistent sleep schedule. Even when you don’t feel like it, these things are important.
- Use healthy outlets to deal with stress. Remember that some things you might turn to for comfort now may eventually hurt you. Look for ways to get more time outdoors, more daytime light (from outside activities and having windows near your desk). Use music, audiobooks, reading, or mindfulness and meditation practices. Find the combination of outlets and times of day for them that works for you. There is no “right approach” or “perfect schedule.” Just try to do what you can when you can.
