Traditional media (TV and radio) and social media are essential tools in getting the word out and keeping people updated about your sibling’s case. The goal is to use these tools in ways that protect your family and help the investigation.
Every family needs to decide the best way to work with the media. We will share our experiences, the lessons we learned, and what we think you should be aware of. But remember, we all have different opinions about the media, and one is not better than the other. You need to do what is best for you.
Often the media plays a role in the search for a missing child. For most of us, being around the media is a whole new experience. Your parents may be the best judges when it comes to deciding who in your family should talk to the media and when.
You may have mixed feelings about whether you do or don’t want to be a part of media interviews or other types of coverage. On one hand, the media can get the word out quickly about your missing brother or sister—and can work to keep the story of interest for the public. They often seem sympathetic and friendly when approaching you and your family, and it’s natural to find this helpful and be excited to give them information and let them know how you feel.
On the other hand, you may feel very differently about the media. They may be constantly invading your home, privacy, and space. Film crews may park around your house and even on your front lawn. Their questions may embarrass or hurt you. The story may not be presented the way they said it would or you thought it would. Sometimes, it may seem like they aren’t concerned about you or your family—only about getting your story on the news to boost their viewers and ratings.
“Media can be your best friend or your worst enemy. With social media, be prepared for both positive and negative responses.” —Rysa
“I was mad at my mom because the media took pictures of me at my soccer game.” —Carmen
“Find the reporter or journalist who provides compassion and truth. Give them the exclusive interview.” —Sayeh
“There’s no such thing as ‘off the record’…. I didn’t go anywhere because I knew they would follow me with questions, and I was afraid I’d lose my temper.” —Erika
“When you do an interview, they can distort what you’re saying.” —Marcus
Your opinion about working with the media may change as the days, weeks, and months go by. One minute you may want to tell them everything and the next be afraid to talk to them at all. You may be leery about exposing your personal feelings to the public, and you may not want complete strangers to recognize you and know your personal business.
Tell your parents how you feel about talking with the media. If you are uncomfortable, let them know. If you feel like your space is being invaded or you are being hounded for information, speak up. If you want to speak to the media but are afraid, ask a trusted adult to be present with you—a family member, family advocate, or law enforcement officer working closely with your case. And ultimately, know that you do not have to answer their questions. You can say “no” or “I changed my mind.” You can set boundaries with the media.
We all had different experiences working with the media, and to this day we have different opinions and feelings about it. Some of us choose to avoid the media, while others embrace it. What we can tell you is that it is important that you decide what’s best for you by talking with your family every time the media becomes an issue of concern. We hope what we’ve offered here will help you make good decisions for yourself by understanding both the benefits and the potential downsides of media coverage.
