We are Carmen and Amy, the sisters of Jacob. Carmen is the youngest sibling of Jacob, who was abducted at age 11 on October 22, 1989, by a masked gunman near our home in St. Joseph, Minnesota. Carmen was 8 years old at the time. Amy is the older sister of Jacob, who was age 13 when Jacob was taken. We also have a brother, Trevor, who was 10 at the time.
Jacob’s abduction had an enormous impact—not only on our family but on the Midwest as people lost their sense of safety. Our journey searching for Jacob lasted decades. On September 1, 2016, almost 27 years after his abduction, Jacob’s remains were found, and his abductor was charged with murder. While our family’s hearts were shattered by the news, we have continued focusing on being beacons of hope for others.
Becoming parents made us look at things differently. We now know how hard this must have been for our parents. We have struggled between feeling the need to protect our children and not wanting to project our fears onto them. We wanted them to have the childhood that we had before our brother was kidnapped—where we did not have to worry about terrible things happening to kids. There were countless times we felt life was unfair. Why don’t our kids get to know their uncle who is not here? Where is he? We wanted our children to know their uncle even though they did not have the opportunity to meet him. Explaining a missing family member to children is incredibly hard and is not something any family should have to do. Jacob is still very much a part of each of our families.
Today, Carmen supervises a case management program supporting people with disabilities to maintain health and live well in their communities. She and her husband Kristian have twin daughters, Maizie and Belle. Amy is a special education teacher and works with high school students with developmental cognitive disabilities to increase their independence. She and her husband Chris have two daughters, Lili and Izzi. Jacob has 6 nieces and nephews who never got to meet him but who carry on his 11 traits.
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Amy and Carmen's Message of Hope
Jacob is still very much a part of our families. Our investigation lasted nearly 27 years. Ultimately, we were able to bring him home, give him a proper burial, and honor him with a celebration of his short life. We guess we are grateful that we have our answers, and we were able to close the investigation. However, we wouldn’t say we have “closure.” Jacob’s abduction and murder still impact us every day.
Jacob also inspires us every day. He believed in a fair and just world, a world where all children know they are special and deserve to be safe. He believed that people were good. And that family was important. He was full of energy and life. And he lived his life centered around 11 simple traits. To this day, our entire family centers our lives around the 11 simple traits that he valued:
- Be fair
- Be kind
- Be understanding
- Be honest
- Be thankful
- Be a good sport
- Be a good friend
- Be joyful
- Be generous
- Be gentle with others
- Be positive
Try to remember these simple traits. Know that there is life after this and you will get through it. Life will be different, but you will find peace, love, and fairness in the world again.