I have survived almost 24 years without my little sister. I miss her every day, but especially on the days I know we would have shared together, like my birthday or hers, or when my brother is driving me crazy. The silence of her is deafening. For a long time, I saw myself as a broken person, and today, I still relate and empathize with those who have experienced tragedy and trauma. But my pieces are glued and tied together—sometimes it feels like a light string, and other times by a hard sailor knot.
My journey has been unique and nothing like I expected my life to become when I became an adult. I thought I would travel the world, join the Peace Corps, and live for myself. Instead, I had a baby at 22 years old and lost my sister at 23. Because of that beautiful baby though, I held on—sometimes by my fingertips—to create a “normal” life for her. These efforts were challenged in 2007 when my father had a stroke and needed full-time assistance from my mother. Suddenly, the investigation of my sister’s abduction and murder fell into my lap. We were no closer to its resolution then than we are now, but I continue to fight for justice in her case.
At my core, I am a teacher. I love children and their authenticity and honesty. It was easy to get behind my parents in creating and developing the Molly Bish Foundation as protecting children was our premise. I carry that legacy on today in my own efforts. I have filed Familial DNA legislation for unresolved cases and continue to advocate for DNA analyses in these types of crimes. I served on the Massachusetts Office of Victim Assistance Board and was a part of the Massachusetts Missing Persons Task Force. I still spearhead the investigation into my sister’s abduction and murder and utilize social media as a platform to share her story, our story.
My daughter is 24 years old now and has a master’s degree in environmental science. She is chasing her dreams in Colorado, riding down mountains on her snowboard, much like my sister loved to do. I am still a teacher because I believe in the power of children shaping our future, and my hope is that they will never have to experience a tragedy like this.
Heather speaks as part of a video which features the original 2010 guide's sibling authors.
The video will open in a new window so you can keep your place in reading the guide.
Heather’s Message of Hope
Welcome to the “club that no one wants to belong to” and I am sorry that you have been put into this position. But I want to assure you that you have people here, near and far, who understand this journey and are there for you. We created this Guide, videos, and connections so that you never have to feel alone, as we did when we first experienced our loss. I remember begging my mom when she visited the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children to bring me, and asking her, “What happened to the other kids?” I was terrified about my own fate.
I hope you never have to experience that part, because of this, because of us. It is true that you are facing a new “normal” and your life will never be the same. You will carry this with you for the remainder of your life. My hope is that through your own journey, and carrying your own weight, you can see the love that people share and the hope that holds you. Few people can see the world the way that we do, and it is both a curse and a blessing. Focus on the blessings. Hold on to yourself, and who you are, and don’t compromise what is most important to you. My father used to say, “Hope requires perseverance, even against overwhelming odds,” and there were times I would write that down and read it every day to survive this. There is no right or wrong way to survive, it is just our own, and sharing that experience will empower you to continue and possibly empower someone else to continue too. I am still learning on this journey, and it is those who have experienced this same kind of loss who both inspire and reassure me that I will be okay, and you will too.