Your thoughts and feelings about your missing brother or sister can bring up a lot of questions. As you notice these things coming up for you, remember the importance of talking with your family, counselor, or therapist about them. You may wonder:
- Is home still home without my sibling there?
- Will we sit in the same places at the table?
- Can I still borrow my sibling’s clothes or toys?
- What do we do on my missing sibling’s birthday? Do we just ignore it?
- How do I answer the phone if it’s for my missing brother or sister?
- What should we do with their mail?
- What about their personal accounts on the internet?
- What about their room? Can I still go in there to find something? What if the police blocked it off? Will it upset my parents if I go in like I usually would?
- The police took some of the things that we shared—the computer, clothes, even a hairbrush. Will we ever get them back?
- What does it mean now that I am the only child at home?
Your parents and even other trusted adults may not have good answers to these questions. This is new and unfamiliar to them too. And these likely won’t be the only questions you and your family struggle with; many more may surface. This is part of the process, and it’s natural to have these thoughts. Remember, sometimes it helps just to ask the questions aloud rather than keeping them bottled up inside—even if the answers don’t follow.
