Social media also has its positives and negatives. Before you engage in any social media, talk to your parents or a trusted adult. Let them know what you are thinking and ask for their opinion. Speak to them specifically about what you are going to post and how you will post it.
The Positives
On the positive side, if your missing brother or sister sees your post, they may be able to reach you through social media. One example of this is when children are taken at a very young age and don’t remember certain things about what happened. Seeing a post from your family or organizations like the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) might trigger a memory or help them connect the dots to realize they can get help. Another example of a missing child using social media to connect with their family is when they have left home due to being lured away or deceived by someone who promised them something they very much felt they needed, but who actually wanted to exploit them. Sometimes a child who leaves home under these circumstances realizes they need help and wants to get back home. Seeing a social media post may offer them a way to start reaching out to be rescued.
Some families and siblings, and even some of us who helped to put together this Guide, have embraced and used social media to keep our stories alive, help find our missing brother or sister, and even help others. But we have done this strategically, understanding both the positives and negatives, risks, and our ability to manage and deal with them and our emotions.
Friends, community members, and people all over the world can see a post or recognize a photo that may help them connect the dots and share things they have seen, heard, or read with law enforcement or your family. And even if people don’t have information about your missing brother or sister, many are ready and willing to reshare posts from your family, law enforcement pages, and organizations like NCMEC. And most people want to share comments of support, empathy, prayers, well-wishes, and ideas to help. Just remember that, like negative comments, which we’ll talk about next, even positive comments can be overwhelming—just the sheer volume of them can be stressful if you feel as though you need to read and respond to even a portion of them. So have a plan for when, how long, and how often you’ll look at comments—if at all. Trusted adults, family, and close friends can help you keep up on important posts meant to try and gather information.
The Negatives
On the negative side, individuals reading your post may criticize you, your family, or your sibling; may reply with negative comments; or may even post false or misleading information. Once a post is out on social media, you have very little, if any, control of how the content gets used. And there is no foolproof way to remove it because people can take screen shots, scrape video or audio content, and keep making new posts about something you removed from your page.
Use the platform’s tools and security settings to unfollow or block users who say or post hurtful or inaccurate things. Depending on the content of a post, decide what audience you want to share it with and whether or not they can share it with others. If you’re not familiar with these tools and settings, take some time before you start sharing posts on social media to learn about them—or ask a trusted adult or friend for help with this.
For Younger Children: A Place To Go for Internet Safety Awareness and Education
Netsmartz is NCMEC’s online safety education program. It provides age-appropriate videos and activities to teach children to be safer online with the goal of helping children become more aware of potential online risks and empowering them to help prevent victimization by making safer choices on- and offline.
The Bottom Line on Social Media
We want you to be very careful about what you decide to post; take some time to think about it before you share any content or information online. Talk with your family and others you trust to make sure you’re sharing and preparing the right way for using social media to help find your brother or sister.
Use social media platforms, website blogs, videos, and audio podcasts as a tool, not a solution. If you decide to post content to websites or social media accounts or pages, be prepared that your story will generate both supportive and negative or hurtful responses. Set and keep your boundaries and control your own story and narrative.
For those of us who are older now, we better understand how to control the messages that we want to convey. For those of us who still have a brother or sister who is missing, social media has allowed us to keep our story alive and the public looking for them. And while some of us continue to have some negative responses, we have learned how to better handle them.